How Do You Know Who Your True Friends Are?

[Lynne Kenney]

Yesterday, I was talking with our ten year old about the meaning of true friendship. Which really got me thinking and feeling a lot of gratitude.

One of my best friends moved to Colorado this week and I chose to say "so-long" via phone 'cause I saw no need to to goober all over her in person. We'd been mourning for several months. We'll visit her and we agreed to debrief monthly via phone but it won't be the same as playing tennis with her and howling about our life experiences in person.

I took inventory with my daughter of all my close friends over the years and counted quite a collection of kind, caring women, with whom I still meet, email or call. It was hard at first to describe a true friend and really easy by the end of our discussion. What about you all, how do you define a true friend?

[yVON Lady]

Well, I have to stumble through this one, because I have not made too many close friends in my adult life. I think it would be easier for me to kinda turn it around and say that as a friend, I've observed that those close to me may not always be available in every way, through everything I am going thrue. So if need be, I try to turn to the people in my life accordingly. I kinda go to different friends (or family members) depending on their personality & what they have to offer; the ones I have on my childs emergency list may not necessarily be the one I would "go wild & crazy" with; the strong personality to help fight battles may not be sensitive enough to cry to about my feelings; Married friends may be more apt to participate in family type activities, while single friends may be better to turn to when I need to escape my everyday life. I guesse true friends, are the one's who can agree to disagree; that you may let down, they may let you down, long periods of time can go without hearing from one another but then when either reaches out again it's a brand new day, which can be like a fresh start. Referring to Shanon Lee "A true friend is the one that will evolve with you as you go through your life journey." I think your right with that statement and would only add that it's a looong life we live if we're lucky....Large gaps between friendship may sometimes be necessary to allow us to "evolve as individuals.

[Time Out Sitters]

My question is how to break up with a "frienemy"! We are in a mom's group together and I belong to her Bunco group. She is passive agressive and I'm tired of being around her. I've decided that the mom's group is big enough for both of us, but I really want to exit the Bunco group and start my own. I'm not sure how to go about doing that...I would prefer to spend my time playing Bunco with true friends!

[yVON Lady]

I had a situation once where I felt a friend was crossing boundaries and not considerate of my needs as a friend, so I told her what kind of friendship I needed and if wasn't going to work for her that we would just not be so close anymore but that if we were going to keep in contact it would be different than it was at the time. To my surprise, she agreed, and asked that we continue to be friends....She's my BEST FRIEND.

As adults, It's really just a matter of choice. Choose what ever is going to make you happy.

Time Out Sitters said:

My question is how to break up with a "frienemy"! We are in a mom's group together and I belong to her Bunco group. She is passive agressive and I'm tired of being around her. I've decided that the mom's group is big enough for both of us, but I really want to exit the Bunco group and start my own. I'm not sure how to go about doing that...I would prefer to spend my time playing Bunco with true friends!

[Lisa Sheldon]

My husband was disabled in an accident about 12 years ago. He had a lot of friends at work. Several of his friends would come over or would call him up to meet them . After he was hurt and wasn't working, his friends stopped calling or coming over. The only true friends he had were from church. They would call him to see how he was doing. Some came to see him. You can tell who your real friends are in a crisis. It is the person who will let you cry on their shoulder or see you at your worst and still care about you. The person you can be yourself around.